A Hero Lives On...

I saw this on Yahoo News and I took the time to read it. -Very Interesting Story...I did not know that guys were doing this before they went off to war...I did not know it was even a possibility. I am not sure how I feel about it really, I think it`s a great story in this case and I think it is awesome that someone who gave his life for our freedoms has a son that is living on in his name...In his case the military makes it possible to take care of your spouse if you are married monetarily even after you have died. You can set it up to where you spouse will receive a portion of your benefits for the rest of her life...So this family will not struggle financially if the mom is good with her money...For the boy though...He is going to grow up without a Father in His life....NOT GOOD! She has no intention of looking for someone else in her life and that`s fine and even totally understandable...BUT! The memory of this Boys father is not enough to make a man out him...He can make it and I hope he does...Maybe even pursue a career in the military like his father. That would be a great end of story. What do you think about it?

Two years after US soldier's death, widow has his son

by Virginie Montet and Stephane Delfour-Given
Fri Oct 19, 2:40 AM ET

Fifteen-month-old Benton is the spitting image of his father, a US soldier who died in Iraq two years before his son was born.

"He looks so much like his father, it's kind of scary," his mother Kathleen Smith told AFP, as she talked about her unusual decision to have her soldier-husband's baby posthumously, using semen frozen before he was deployed.

"Benton is the child Brian and I could have had. I have part of what Brian and I could have had -- part of my dream was possible even after he died," Smith, 42, said.

"My husband and I had talked about the probability of needing to do in vitro fertilization because I already had a fertility issue. That's why he went to a sperm bank before he went to Iraq," she said.

Smith is not the only US soldier to have semen frozen and held at a sperm bank before deployment to Iraq or Afghanistan.

Many have done so not because they fear they will be killed but because of the risk they would be injured or exposed to chemicals during deployment which could affect their fertility.

"There was a slight increase in military storage in 2003," said Tanya Peebles, spokeswoman for Cryobank, one of the biggest sperm banks in California.

Storage of sperm usually costs 365 dollars a year.

But Cryobank ran a special offer that year, with "semen collection and storage services at a substantially reduced cost, with the first year storage provided free of charge" to military personnel who were about to be deployed to Iraq.

The aim of the promotional offer was "to help ensure the future of their families," according to the advertisement.

However, the widows of soldiers who choose to make the same decision as Kathleen Smith can be counted on the fingers of one hand, the US department of Veterans' Affairs said.

Spokesman Jim Benson said the department knew of only four such cases.

A medical professor at the Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences in Washington, who asked not to be named, agreed women who seek to have their late husband's baby are a rarity, and expressed doubt as to whether it was a good idea.

"It's very uncommon. And I don't think it's a good thing, or that it will become more common," he said.

"The problem is regret -- regret is high for those women," he said. "What happens when she meets someone else?"

"The other question is ethical: the guy hadn't planned to die so he didn't say you could use his sperm," the doctor said.

Smith has no regrets, and Benton has also managed to bring round his grandparents, who were initially against their slain son's widow having his baby after his death.

"His mom was against it. But she's wonderful now. She loves her little boy, her grandson," said Smith.

"Brian and I never discussed whether I would have a child if he died," she added.

"When he died, I was 40 and it's not like I had time to look for another person to be with and to have a child. If I was 10 years younger, it would have been a different situation."

She looks on her son as a blessing and "something good that came out of the war," which she stopped supporting when her husband was killed.

"My opinion about this war has changed, with regard to Brian's death," Smith said. "In the beginning, I was supportive of the war, but at this point I want our guys home."


Allyn Paul said...

Wow, that's a tough one.
Being former military, I can say that I would not have wanted my wife to have brought a child into the world later if I had died. It seems selfish on the woman's part. NOT JUDGING HER...just giving my perspective.

Bonds756 said...

I think this is ultimately the woman's choice in this matter. I am sure there is a whole lot of paperwork and signitures on the man's part and if your going to a sperm bank to "pay" them to keep your sperm alive u are automatically giving permission to one day have a child. I dont see anything wrong with this woman's decision to have her late husbands child.......just my perspective.

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